MORE OWNING UP – PART 2 – POLISHED BY FIRE;
This is a continuation of where I missed the mark when I was with Ann.
As a former addict, I’ve learned that certain traits can linger long after quitting drinking or using drugs. One of those is the tendency to be controlling and manipulative. Sadly, I let that spill over into my marriage. What I should have allowed to overflow was my recovery, not those old patterns.
Addicts are often very smart and calculative; skills we once used to manipulate people into enabling our habits. But manipulation and control have no place in love. When it comes to someone you cherish, those traits are selfish and destructive. That was one of my mistakes. Love should be the reigning force in intimacy, not manipulation, not control.
Another mistake I made was making decisions while emotional, with anger plus revenge being the strongest driver. Decisions made in anger and revenge rarely build;…
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