TWO PIVOTAL MOMENTS;
As I reflect on my journey, I’ll share two pivotal moments that profoundly influenced my struggles with alcohol abuse. Although these events occurred before I ever took a drink, they would later shape the way I approached alcohol and ultimately contributed to my downward spiral.
The seeds of alcohol abuse are often sown before we take our first drink – and for some, even before birth. These seeds frequently take the form of unhealed generational trauma.
Both instances resonate deeply with me, but today, I’ll explore the seeds of alcohol abuse that were sown in my life before I ever took my first drink.
As an only child, I was extremely close to my mother. However, her actions, particularly her daily drinking, hurt me deeply. I vividly remember the effects of alcohol on her and the constant pleas from others for her to stop. One incident remains etched in my memory: overwhelmed by her drinking, I burst into tears in the bathroom, desperately crying out for her to stop.
As a child, I couldn’t understand why my mother couldn’t stop drinking for my sake. Her inability to do so planted a deep-seated hurt within me. In my naive mind, I felt she had chosen alcohol over me. This wound would eventually give rise to rebellion. Years later, when I was caught up in my own drinking struggles, I’d come home late at night, and my mother would open the door for me. In that moment, I felt a twisted sense of vindication, as if I was somehow paying her back for the pain she had caused me.
This pivotal moment in my childhood sowed the seeds of a deep hurt that would eventually shape my drinking habits. As is often the case, unresolved pain can lead to a desperate search for escape. Without healthy communication and coping mechanisms, this hurt can fester, growing more toxic with time. In my case, this unaddressed wound ultimately contributed to an 8-year struggle with alcoholism.
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