WHAT I ALWAYS FELT – PART 12 – A TESTED SOBRIETY;
When I was with Ann, I carried many feelings; layered, often tangled, sometimes hard to name. Some of those feelings came from a place of low self-esteem: a constant fear that I wasn’t enough. Others came from a place of hope and healing; a belief that maybe, just maybe, something good could grow from all the broken places inside us. There were also moments of deep trust, where I let my guard down and truly believed I was safe in her presence. And then there were feelings that didn’t even originate with me; emotions that had spilled into my life from other people. I felt them all when I was with her.
When you are struggling with something, you rarely see outside yourself or empathize with another. I was navigating new ground with her and I rarely saw outside myself when I was with her. I always felt cornered in a way and I wanted out. The out I thought would work was us…
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